Boyfriend now. I have a boyfriend now. No way, no how. I get a boyfriend now? I remember it vividly, love. I've been walking around since the moment we met. And I caught your eye, to my surprise. The bright lights. Hebraic neuroses ceased to be. An angel's conversing with me. The new attractive to me. Is diviiiiiine. Even if my friends don't understand. No matter what, I'll always be your gurl. Even if you go, You know you'll leave me feeling grand. I'll need new contraceptives, Green eyes. I found god when you left her, Green eyes. Let's spend the night entwined. Out on the boardwalk in sickly summertime. Like the ying and the yang of the radiomen. You're the omen. That all has changed that was deranged. Even if you fuck me till I'm sore. No matter what, I'd bleed to be your whore. Even if the cancer grows till we explode, I'm yours. Boyfriend now.I have a boyfriend now. No way, no how? I get a boyfriend, now? Well from here on forth, I'm yours. And even if your whisper eats my ear, Your voice shall be the only song I long to hear And even if your fear the end, Our sacrament of salmon and Irish beer. We'll still be here. Boyfriend now. I have a boyfriend now. No way, no how? I get a boyfriend, now? Boyfriend now. I have a boyfriend now. No way, no how? He's my boyfriend now.
five minutes to midnight again. just another night like so many others before. as i wake from the fever dreams i notice beside me lies another fallen. for a moment i forget to breathe. surprisingly i still feel the taste of trash on my lips. what can i do to keep myself from suffocating under the words of sorrow. shadows surround me, and my paxil angel appears standing by. he whispers loudly in my veins. my body keeps craving for more. the moon is gone forever just like the handful of pills laying by my pillow. a catastrophe in the waiting. i swallow them to get to sleep. as i lay dying i try not to think about the last goodnight. til where can i go to kill the loneliness? i'm grateful for my famous prescription that makes everything more blurry. my eyes can't keep from closing, damn, it hurts to blink. and then i see the lips of my paxil angel kissing the shadows. the stars are fading as i'm fading away too. scared by my nameless emotional distress. i wish we were again just me, you and my medication, our love was just a chemical reaction. cuz after a thousand broken hearts and a thousand broken wings, i stoped feeling like i'm on top of the world. cuz even my bank account's empty and i'm running out of time. i do anything i can to get all i need. the clothes lying on the floor, ghost of memories i want to forget. outside the window i can see the city. the streetlights shine like they are stars. i cant help but feel guilty as i remember your picture above my head. i'm here in a never ending darkness, alone but not really, still waiting for your call. thinking of you all the time. one day things will be right and all the roads will lead to where you are instead of leading me in a three days grave. your picture stares at me with cold & silent eyes as my violent headache sings me to sleep again. with one last look at the fallen next to me my eyes close and on the floor, next to the empty bottles, crashes my last tear of the night. thoughts of you come back to me, such happy moments. all brought to me by my priceless paxil.
look up the stars are fading the sky gets lighter every second and still i didnt get to close my eyes at all tonight. i grab a handful of pills and wish i could swallow them all to get to sleep. but instead of knocking me out they make me feel so special. just like the words you used to write all over my notebook. though it's a good dizzyness, i still fell down the stairs. i've got some trouble trying to walk in a straight line but the sound shows me the way. the path is drawn by sharp blades reflecting the faded stars. the sky's exactly the same shade of blue as my jeans. so fashionable is this planet. i walk and fall but stand up straight again, stare ahead of me without blinking. cuz im afraid i might fall down and apart again. and your not there to pick up the pieces of my heart i forget on my way. i wish i could stay whole but whenever your away im missing a part of me. if only this time you could have stayed. i sit down on the sand, this early morning sees the beach deserted. the waves crash on my feet without a sound, a touch i believe i dont deserve. the whisper of the wind on my burning skin teaches me so many things i did not know. with my hands in my pockets, i let my mind wander, maybe you feel the same way i do. so lonely when your not around. the sun rises at the shore line, blinding me with its brightness. just like the neon sign at the cafe's entrance. i take out of my pocket another handfull of pills. some paxil i think. or maybe ritalin & xanax. i cannot be sure. i would not be sure, considering my state. i throw them in the waves, might calm the ocean a little. it owes me now. these pills arent free after all. i hear some soft sound at my side. my empty hand is still hanging an inch above the water. im surprised when another hand, appears and take it, hold it. with my other hand i fish in the depth of my bag for my beloved nokia. i find it between the tuna cans. seven new messages. there all from you saying you love & miss me. i feel the same way and you know it. the hand's still holding mine. its soft and warm and makes me feel so much better. the remaining star gives me one last wink and disappears. she knows i'll be just fine on my own. the waves die at my feet, probably from accidental overdoses. i take out a pen and write on this other hand the nine diggits to reach me. the pen bleeds the ink essential to trace the words. before im done i have change of heart and break the pen. no one will ever be able to stab itself with it. the hand still holds mine tighter, stroking the back of it softly. i break down in tears and there's a shoulder to cry on right beside me. i throw the phone in the water, no more reminder of that time you werent near enough.
N0 0ne eveR Said That Life waS faiR aND im N0T SaYinG That it ShoULD Be So KnoWinG That U R WhaT Y0u WaNT 2 Be aNd im N0T C0meS aS N0 SuRPRiSe But D0NT XpeCt Me To B HaPPy 4 Y0u aND DoNT SmiLe aT Me & TeLL Me ThiNGs wiLL WoRk out 4 Me 2. i DoNT WaNT YouR PiTy...i HATE yoUR Pity. TaSte YouR VaNiTy aNd itS SWeeT BiTTeRnesS aS u HiDe beHind youR VeiL of My StoLen HoPeS & LoSt dReamS ...Y0u T00K eM aLL... i WaTCheD Y0u SteaL My ThouGhtS aNd HaD 2 See u SmiLe aS u buiLd youR dReamS oN My ShatteRed HopeS. i'LL LooK BaCk oN a DaY oNCe LoVed & faNtaSiZe 4 tRaGeDy. SwaLLoW YouR pRiDe. BeG Me 2 MaKe thiS eaSieR aNd LiSten To My HoPeLeSs cRieS. SuffeR aLoNe iN emPtiNesS. i LuSt 2 See u SwaLLoWed By The meSs ThaT Y0u Left iN youR waKe. diSGuSt LieS DeeP WiThiN YouR emPTy GaZe... BeG Me To MaKe thiS eaSieR aND LiSten at My hoPeLeSs cRieS SeND StaReS iNTo uR meaNinGLeSs eyeS. My enVy CaNT DeScRibe hoW i LoaThe Y0u 4 HavinG aLL The StaRS. LeaVinG My eyeS To MaRVeL The Sky KnoWinG it ShouLd Be miNe Yet itS u i See waSting The dReaM ThaT 0nLy i DeSeRve i'LL teaR 0FF YouR fayCe 2 See YouR SmiLe. aS Y0u buiLd YouR dReaMs oN My ShatteRed hoPeS i'LL LooK baCk oN a Day oNce LoVed aNd faNtaSiZe 4 tRaGedy. SwaLLow YouR pRiDe. BeG Me To MaKe ThiS eaSieR aNd LiSten aS my hopeLeSs cRieS SenD StaReS iNto youR meaNingLeSs eyeS
yesterday i went to ep only to chill with my friend/bf devon & my bffl JACOB. he had told me on the phone they were buying a G asked if i wanted to put in 5$ of course i wanted to. i got to passage shortley after, after a smoke or two by myself at ALDERNEY, devon & jacob were with this emo gurl RACHEL. she was high on cough medecine and seemed nice and someone i could be friends with. met em at tim hortons in ep. then we splitted up. devon & jake went to devon's place (needed some big bro-lil bro talk) and rachel & i were in charge of finding MArie Jane. she said wed prolly not find any cuz the passage is so DRY. she called up this chris guy and we walked to his house. he said he didnt have any but might knoe where 2 find some. chris was reaaaally cute btw. we walked for a while around passage, nobody we asked had any weed. they all said passage was too fawking dry. chris tried calling up some ppl, didnt get a hold of anybody. then chris' mother drove buy and picked him up cuz ppl were waitin for them in motherfawkin laurence town. then rachel texted jacob, him & devon were on their way to meet us. we walked around for a while and i went to knock on this door. rachel knew the gurl livin there (victoria) but didnt wanna talk to her really. victoria wasnt home tho. across the street, these 2 guys were chillin in a car with the stereo blasting. devon told me to ask em if they knew where to get weed round there. they said they had no clue, that passage was dry. i went back to my friends that were standing in the middle of the street and told em. one of the guys recognized devon and so he went to see him. he asked em what i had said but anyways we left and kept walking in search of a little gram nothing more. in the end our weed journey was very long, and not successful. it took another direction tho when we jus went into that newly built house and chilled there for awhile. devon and i were in the middle of gettin our fawk on when this construction man who owned the place showed up at the door. jake took care of it as we hurried to get dressed and get the fawk outta that place. then we jus walked back to passage and waited for a bus to go to alderney where we could find weed more easily. my pants kept fallin down cuz theyre 2 sizes 2 big. we got on the bus not without a couple incidents i must say. then that deven guy/mental case got on the bus. he was HiiiiiiiiiigH. on cough syrup. he asked us if we wanted to chill at his house, he had 2 bottles of robitussin there. i must admit the guy is damn cute, id do him in no time. but we wanted weed. nothing else. it started to rain, so he left. RaCHeL, DeV0N, JaKe & i went to tim hortons near my house. D0wNTWN. we chilled there for awhile and put our change together for a large tripple tripple (devonz) a medium tripple tripple (jakes) and a large-coffee-with-only-milk-in-it-please (mine of course). Rachel was still trippin out and i started to reaally love the gurl. then she wanted a donut but didnt wanna go alone. so she dragged me to the counter and then couldnt figure out what she wanted. but it was alrite. ive totally tripped out on cold medecine before i get it. then we finished our coffees, i went outside and tried to bum a couple of smokes from the ppl standing there. they didnt have an extra smoke for a cutie like me. FawK iT. we crossed the streeet and chilled at value village's parking lot. devon & jake decided to film a sk8 video. the bus to passage was gonna come soon so RacHeL, Jake & Devon walked back to the street and waited for it i guess. Cuz i wouldnt knoe, i went the other way and walked home. all alone in the dark, dangerous street. and we still didnt smoke our weed.
ReaD The taLE oF mY DeSiRe *i'll NEVER WALK AWAY* a b00K oF haTe, yeaH *i'll NEVER EXHALE* 1000 v0LTs f0R. *i'll NEVER WALK AWAY* eveRy SmiLe Y0u GaVe Me *NEVER EXHALE* aS Y0uR eyeS CLoSe i'll bRinG befoRe, The siGHt oF TRue uNHaPpiNesS whiSPeR i CaRe THeN GRaCioUS eNouGH *i Let Y0u G0* ReMeMBeR Me FoR TimeS i'Ve RuiNeDY0u *NOT THe TimeS i MaDE Y0u SMiLE*
taKe THiS BLaDe T0 my wRiST heLP me eND wHaT maKeS Y0u uGLy sWimMinG iN THe P0oLs oF my MiND y0U coMe To mE aT niGHT LeaVe me BLaCk aND SAVe Y0uRseLF
*i'll NEVER WALK AWAY* a bo0K oF haTe, yeaH *i'll NEVER EXHALE* 1000 VoLts foR *i'll NEVER WALK AWAY* eVeRy sMiLe Y0u GaVe Me *NEVER EXHALE* aS The sT0Ry PRoLoNGs wiTh eaCH woRD My sT0maCH STaRTs To TuRn i HaVe sWaLLoWeD naiLS s0 i caN NeVeR Say y0uR NaMe noW woRDs aRe HeaRD ThRouGH my eyeS *THR0UGH my eyeS*
CaN Y0u See The FiRe thaT buRNs fRom My HeaRT thiS s0NG iS foR Y0u s0 peRfeCt i haVe maDe aN attemPT, t0 haVe y0U
LiGHT uP thiS ciGarette ToNiGht i wiLL sLeeP witH a guN iN My M0uTh *GooD NiGHT mY L0ve*
Some PPL Say im JuS LiKe meTh...whiCh iS GReaT CuZ iN Sum WayZ itS TRue... iM a SeXy, üBeR aDDiCTiVe SuBSTaNCe. aSK aNY 0ne.
i CaN MaKe Ya HapPy, i CaN PiSs u oFF i MaKe u sKinNy, i maKe U BRoKe i CaN iRRiTaTe Ya, i maKe u sWeaT 2, anD iF i reaaaaaLLy DoNT LiKe Ya iLL MaKe u FeeL BAD aBouT yeRseLf Y0u seLF ConSci0uS BiTCh. But iN The END, The ThinG iS im iCe Babe...